Recently I found this quote that wowed me: “Confidence is a choice… a big part of being confident is being brave, and you can’t be brave unless you’re scared.” Wow.
The thought that you have to be scared, that feeling scared is a part of the process of building your confidence sent my head (and old beliefs!) spinning on its heel. I mean, aren’t we constantly being told that to be brave and courageous, we aren’t supposed to be afraid or feel fear? Well, that my lovies is an old myth we have been fed, and a damaging one at that. This myth creates an unrealistic bar that we try to meet but is impossible to grab. This no-win expectation leaves us believing we are failures, like we’re inadequate or inferior, because we can’t do life without feeling afraid. What a setup! This myth, or belief system, keeps us feeling like we’re constantly failing since we’re never going to meet that bar. This leads to feeling stuck and hopeless. Why take the next step if we can’t do it without feeling afraid? What’s the point? Complacency then quickly follows and we become imprisoned in our own lives, wanting something different but not believing that we can have it unless we don’t feel fear. So stuck we become. Yuck! That is not thriving in your life, that’s just merely surviving or existing in your life.
So what if we challenged ourselves to embrace fear as a welcome companion and recognize that it’s a normal part of living and creating change in our lives? What if we made friends with it, invited it in with open arms, greeting it with a “hello, old friend!” Kinda makes you shake in your boots a little doesn’t it? It does for me too. Our natural and primal instinct is to run from pain and discomfort, and that serves us when we touch something hot. But when it comes to challenging feelings, like fear, this instinct keeps feelings piling up inside us. This creates distress and anxiety, which brings on more challenging feelings and the cycle continues.
So, today, take some time to visualize fear and what it might look life for you. Maybe even create an image with some art materials. Then invite it in, welcome it, say “hello fear”, give it a hug. Then, ride the wave of discomfort that might come with this practice. Thank it for feeding your bravery. Finally, see yourself as brave and powerful for letting yourself feel fear. Remind yourself that it’s ok, it’s part of the process and that you’ve got it.
The more we can see and experience fear as a normal part of life, especially when we want to create changes, the less power it will have over us and the freer we will be to launch ourselves forward. You are braver than you know, my lovie, you are so, so brave.
P.S. The picture I have included in this post is the image I created around my bravery. Hope you can find some time to create an image of your brave self too!
Myriam Martinez is a Women's Personal Life Coach, Licensed Psychotherapist, and Registered Art Therapist based out of Northern California. Her calling in this life is to teach women how to find happiness, success, and ease in their lives through the power of self-love and compassion. To learn more about Myriam click here: https://www.myriammartinezcoaching.com/